10 things Black People should know about BARACK OBAMA

OK...I am a little worried about some of you. And..we all knew this was coming...although maybe a bit sooner than I expected. Here are 10 things Black people (and people in general) should know about BARACK.

1. IF Barack is elected... and put in the White House in DC..you cannot put this man on your club flyers. Barack will not be appearing in or around your club..no need to give him free bottle service, VIP entry. etc. It isn't happening. Additionally, Barack will not be at Howard's Homecoming, the next spoken word jump off or the next Go-Go / Chuck Brown Concert. Ain't no random Barack sightings gonna happen.

2. DON'T be puttin' Barack in Rap songs. In the same way you don't put your Mother or Father in Rap songs..don't do that to Barack. He does secretly listen to Jigga and Nas like everyone else, but let the man enjoy it by himself.

3. We know everyone is excited about Barack and his chances to become Prez. Ohe thing we have to remember is..if you aren't sure how to help Barack..DONATE CASH. All the BROS BEFFORE HOS t-shirts, Ludacris rap songs, and countless play off the Man's name (BARACK THE VOTE) are not helping. Shoot..it may all be true..but still.

4. Don't ask crazy questions to Barack when he gets elected. If you have a chance to interview him..don't ask about Soul Food in the White House or will he be sittin' next to Jack at a Laker's Game or whether or not light skinned brothas are in. Barack isn't thinking about your crazy *ss at that point.

5. Barack is running for PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES. Not the NY Knicks Head coaching job, head of your local fraternity chapter, not lead actor in the next Star Wars Movie, not the next Lil Wayne Re-mix cameo, nor is he doing a stand up national comedy tour. Respect the Man and his craft...and just because he may become president..if you cut up, you still goin' to JI-ZAIL. There is no pardoning for random acts of madness. Barack is NOT your homie..and you don't know someone who knows someone who knows him..ain't no hookups.

6. Barack CAN bust your *ss in Basketball. And if you try to embarass him..the secret service will pop a cap in that *ss and he will dunk on you. Several times. In front of your friends. He will not let you go Kobe Bryant on him (81 points) in public...sorry..alll you Venice Beach/ YMCA ballers that have this fantasy of facing Barack on the court are dreaming. He owns the court and even if you score one off him, he will just diss you..."Yo, I'm about to be president of the United States..whatchu gotta say, pimpin'?"

7. Barack and Michelle are not looking for your "hot couples" accolades. They don't want to be compared to Jigga and Beyonce, Denzel and Paula, Brangelina, Samantha Ronson and Lyndsey Lohan or any couple. You can't front on LOVE..and you can tell they got it..IN SPADES.

8. Barack is NOT exactly like you. He is more like Tiger Woods than you. Maybe not exactly CABLINASIAN but more like: AFRIKENDONESIAWAIIAN (African, Indonesian, Hawaiian).
But yes, he does have nappy hair, and once used a pick like the rest of us. Listening to Barack's book on ITUNES though...there are a couple of moments where Barack is tempted to "go there"..I ain't mad. Barack is my boy...I got him on speed dial, next to Mom.

9. Barack is more equipped to be president than MCain. Uh YEAH. Barack is more equipped to do pretty much anything. The biggest blockbuster of the year hasn't been Batman, Iron Man, Hell Boy, Hancock or anything else. You are witnessing the biggest ENTITY of the year in his prime..enjoy it. They don't come along very often...

10. Barack needs your support and your attention...a very unique time in America and you would be crazy not to pay attention to the issues that are confronting Americans. So please...VOTE FOR BARACK! Ha...you knew i was going there, huh? ;)